Review: Robocop

Robocop

ST Format Review

My Review
For this review I’m using Automation’s Menu 96, on Steem with a 1MB STFM and TOS 1.0.

So Robocop begins with a lovely loading screen with a sampled voice giving the prime directives. It’s worth remembering that at this point sampled sound was rare and quality artwork wasn’t always a given on loading screens. There’s a really slick animation of Robocop grabbing his gun when it flicks between title screen and high score. I press fire to start.

Oh dear. Robocop has haemorrhoids. He has a very strange gait, and the top half of his body remains stationary. His jump is.. well it’s a single frame with him in a crouching position. Gameplay consists of walking along punching things. No other moves available and so far the crouch only seems to be used to avoid slow-moving bullets (though you don’t actually crouch low enough to avoid them), and the jump not at all (which is good because it has a really weird control where you must crouch first otherwise it doesn’t work).

You eventually get a gun and can direct it ahead, diagonally up or diagonally down, but that does little to break up the gameplay loop. Animation is slow. Movement is slow. Finishing stage 1 sees you battle a big robot you’ll recognise from the movie – to be fair it’s a decent size though animation is shit.

A brief interlude at a shooting range where you have to use dodgy joystick controls (why can’t I use the mouse) and then it’s back on the streets. Stage 2 ends with a fight against a bloke in a van. Another minigame, this time face-matching.

Honestly the game is a cash-grab, a truly shit cash grab. It sold a fuckload of course, because people bought it for the name, because the Robocop movie was awesome. This game however was typical of film conversions of the era.

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