Review Fail: Star Wrek

Star Wrek
No box available

ST Format Review

My Review
For this review I’m running Steem with a 1MB STE, running TOS 1.62 instead of my usual 1.04 (which only works on STs). This didn’t have a scene release but thankfully exists at http://www.atarimania.com/game-atari-st-star-wrek-the-voyage-of-ussless_11381.html. Star Wrek got 15% which is the lowest score I can remember seeing in ST Format but hopefully someone can correct me.

The game is a text adventure ripping the piss out of Star Trek – I’m not a Trekkie sadly so the jokes might fly over my head but fingers crossed. While it’s a text adventure, the developers were kind enough to put some simple images in to mix things up a bit, but they’re mere decoration. The ST Format review talks of big problems with the text parser and a paper-thin plot, let’s see if it’s true.

It’s never a great sign when they can’t even be arsed to make the fucking game auto-run… ho-hum.

Sadly it doesn’t quite know what to make of my request to suck my hairy ballsack. A terrible start, utterly unacceptable. In fact, none of my slightly-abusive drunken suggestions make it through the parser. Hmm.

Well for fuck’s sake it doesn’t even understand very basic stuff like look, examine, etc. At no point has it told me what room I’m in or what I can do.. this is a bad start.

I finally figure out it wants me to type ‘y’ to the “info (y/n)” prompt which gives the impression it skipped over…

Oh god, it’s playing this fucking god awful single-note-at-a-time shitty chip tune that is insanely irritating every time I fucking get a new bit of text. Make it fucking stop.

Alas, I am defeated by a manual text check, given the fact that there is no fucking manual available anywhere on the internet. Perhaps it’s for the best.

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