Review: Crazy Cars 2

Crazy Cars 2

ST Amiga Format Review

My Review
Crazy Cars 2 opens with a still image using stippling effects to give the impression of more colour than was actually present and a sampled tune rather than the usual beepy chiptune fare. However, that’s about as good as this game gets. This game is terrible (sorry for the spoiler).

Let’s start with a ridiculous decision to make mouse control the default. In fact, it is from there that much of the awfulness stems. So you start up and weirdly pressing your fire button accelerates (because the ST interprets this as the right mouse button) but then you try to steer and nothing happens. Eventually I figured out that it was defaulting to mouse steering. And it’s awful. With no interface to speak of before the race starts, it instead requires you to press F7 to change control mode between mouse, joystick and keyboard, with no indication on screen of the success or failure of this action.

Eventually I get the joystick working, and come to realise that the steering wheel you see is being controlled by the joystick. Now this is not the first, nor the last, game on the ST to make this mistake. Midwinter 2 is still the one where this particular feature most grates. The end result though is that instead of the muscle memory and physicality of feeling your joystick return to centre, you have to use the joystick to move the wheel left and right, with the end result that it’s impossible not to simply zig-zag down the road. Still, the developers foresaw that pain and instead present you with a straight road with no corners for large parts of the game (and not much in the way of roadside sprites). You can complete large chunks of it simply by holding the joystick forward, up until a cop car comes up and then you’re fucked becuase if you touch it your car explodes.

For the life of me I have no idea how this got 71%. Either the reviewer was a total dickhead or they were getting money. I notice that these early ST/Amiga Format reviews don’t have the writer’s name credited so maybe they got a work experience kid to review it. Either way, shit review and shit game.

Just so I can finish on something pleasant, here’s an advert from this issue of the magazine for an entirely different and probably better game.

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